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How to Support a Loved One After Major Surgery

August 6, 2025 by Katie Meehan Leave a Comment

If someone you know and care about is about to undergo a major operation, then you might be eager to support their recovery in any way you can. Pressure on the NHS might mean that the quality of aftercare they’re offered isn’t all that it might be – but you can pick up the slack with the help of a few practical tips and tricks.

Learn what their recovery needs actually are

To begin with, you’ll want to understand exactly what’s required in order to give your loved one the best possible chance of a good recovery. Every patient’s needs are slightly different, and by reading the discharge notes, or speaking to doctors (or the patient themselves), you can get a good idea of how you can lend a hand, as well as understanding the timeline for recovery, and adjusting your expectations accordingly.

Don’t be tempted to over-involve yourself, or to go over the head of your loved one. In some cases, there might be questions of confidentiality to consider, especially if you’re not a close relative. To get so-called ‘proxy’ access to someone’s medical information, or to act on their behalf when dealing with the NHS, you’ll need their consent.

Be helpful in practical, specific ways

It might be a good idea to volunteer for a specific job, and to do it regularly. This might mean setting reminders, writing notes, or pitching in with cleaning and transport. Try to think about what you’re good at, and what the patient might need from you. But don’t rob them of those small household tasks that are actually enjoyable, like cooking.

Look out for complications

If you understand what’s involved in the recovery, then you might already know what warning signs to be on the lookout for. These might include swelling, pain, or fever. If things look like they’re deteriorating, then you can summon help from a professional.

In a minority of cases, complications might be the result of medical negligence. In this instance, you can help by looking for a local solicitor specialising in this area of law. If you’re based in Merseyside, for example, you might look for one of the many medical negligence solicitors Liverpool has to offer.

Support their mental wellbeing

Recovering from a major operation can often mean that a patient’s state of mind deteriorates. This might be a result of loss of capability, or an inability to exercise, or limited social opportunities. In many cases, it’s a combination of all of these things, and more.

You can lend a hand here by simply being present and emotionally available. Chatting over tea, shared routines, and visits to the park can all be enormously helpful.

Take care of yourself too

Caring for another person can involve considerable commitment. This can be a problem, especially if you don’t set healthy boundaries, and the work ends up taking over your life.

Make sure that you schedule time for yourself, and that you call upon the aid of other people. This will allow you to preserve your own sanity, and in turn, care for your loved one in a way that can be sustained over their entire recovery.

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Katie Meehan is a beauty, lifestyle and fashion blogger based in London.

 

As seen on BBC Three, This Morning, The Daily Mail, The Mirror and Elle UK.

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